Understanding Healthy Boundaries
Many people struggle with feeling responsible for the happiness of others or having difficulty saying no and setting healthy boundaries. If these issues resonate with you, my specialized therapy can help. At Laurel Sheffield Therapy, I understand the importance of personal boundaries and am here to support you in creating healthier relationships.
Recognizing the Signs
Excessive reliance on others for approval and a sense of identity can lead to neglecting your own needs and well-being. Common signs include:
- Feeling responsible for the feelings and actions of others.
- Difficulty setting boundaries and saying no.
- Low self-esteem and seeking validation from others.
- Prioritizing others’ needs over your own to the point of self-neglect.
- Are you preoccupied with them to the exclusion of your own health and wellbeing
Recognizing these signs is the first step toward building healthy boundaries. My therapy sessions are designed to help you understand the root causes of these behaviors and teach you how to set respectful boundaries.
It can be difficult to maintaining healthy boundaries when a loved one has a substance abuse and/or mental health issue. It’s hard and stressful to live with an addict or have a loved one who has an addiction.
You may wonder why you (as the person without a mental health and/or substance abuse issue) may benefit from counseling. A way I describe it is a person’s loved one is addicted to whatever they are addicted to (could be substances, pornography, work, anger, gambling, risky sexual behavior) and you as the loved one are addicted to them and their problematic behavior.
This can manifest in nagging, worrying, cajoling, attempting to control this other person and their behaviors and create a dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship dynamic. This can be called many things including: codependency, enabler, rescuer, enabling or taking on an inappropriate caretaker role. And if left unattended, can lead to depression, under/overachieving dynamic, anger, dissatisfaction with the relationship, confusion, shame, guilt, anxiety, lack of boundaries, lack of assertiveness, resentment, and conflict avoidance in the non-addicted person.
We have a saying with regards to a loved one who is using substances (and isn’t seeking treatment) and/or has an un or undertreated mental health issue and that is to keep in mind the three C’s (you didn’t cause it, you can’t cure it and you can’t control it.) There is a difference between interdependency (which is healthy) and codependency, which is not.
How I Can Help
Your therapy sessions focus on several key areas to help you build healthy boundaries and improve your self-esteem:
Understanding Healthy Boundaries: I help you explore the root causes of your behaviors, including past experiences and patterns that contribute to these tendencies.
Defining Boundaries: Learning to define and set personal boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. I teach you practical strategies for establishing boundaries that protect your well-being and respect the needs of others.
Empowering Self-Care: Empowering you to prioritize your own needs and well-being is essential for overcoming unhealthy reliance on others. My sessions include techniques for self-care and self-respect, helping you develop a stronger sense of self-worth.
Building Self-Esteem: Low self-esteem often underlies these behaviors. I work with you to build your self-esteem and confidence, ensuring you feel valued and respected in your relationships.
Emotion-Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT): Emotion-focused therapy is a valuable approach in addressing issues related to unhealthy boundaries. EFT psychotherapy helps you process and understand your emotions, leading to healthier emotional responses and interactions. This approach is strongly rooted in attachment theory.
Together we will help you be “Selfish in Your Own Recovery,” “Detach with Love” and increase a healthy self-focus.
Perhaps Melodie Beattie said it best- “We’ve been doing the wrong things for the right reasons.”
With a few coping skills and tools, I’m confident there is help to lessen the impact this other person’s behavior may have on you, their loved one.
Do you struggle with Healthy Boundaries?
Use this short quiz to assess your boundary levels. Rate each statement on a scale from 1 (Never) to 5 (Always).
Contact Laurel
If you identify with many of these symptoms, I am here to help. My therapy services can guide you toward healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self. Contact me today to schedule a consultation and begin your journey to recovery.
Defining and Setting Healthy Boundaries
Setting boundaries in a relationship is essential for maintaining a healthy dynamic. Boundaries help define what is acceptable and what is not, ensuring both partners feel respected and valued. In my therapy sessions, I provide practical guidance on creating boundaries, emphasizing the importance of clear communication and mutual respect.
Personal Boundaries: Personal boundaries are the limits you set to protect your emotional and physical well-being. Learning to say no and prioritize your needs is a crucial aspect of maintaining healthy personal boundaries.
Healthy Boundaries in Relationships: Establishing healthy boundaries in relationships involves understanding your limits and communicating them effectively to your partner. This process helps prevent unhealthy behaviors and promotes a balanced, respectful relationship.
Building Self-Esteem and Confidence
Low self-esteem can significantly impact your ability to set boundaries and maintain healthy relationships. At my practice, I focus on building your self-esteem and confidence through evidence-based techniques:
Identifying Negative Beliefs: I help you identify and challenge negative beliefs about yourself that contribute to low self-esteem and self-worth.
Developing Positive Self-Talk: Learning to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations is a powerful tool for improving self-esteem. My therapy sessions include exercises and techniques to develop a more positive self-image.
Practicing Self-Compassion: Practicing self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. This approach helps you build a healthier relationship with yourself and improve your self-esteem.
Overcoming Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth
Low self-esteem and self-worth often go hand-in-hand with the inability to set healthy boundaries. By addressing these issues, you can build a stronger sense of self and create healthier relationships. My therapy services focus on:
Addressing Core Issues: I explore the underlying issues contributing to your low self-esteem, including past experiences and negative self-beliefs.
Developing Self-Respect: Developing self-respect involves recognizing your value and treating yourself with dignity. My sessions include strategies for enhancing your self-respect and fostering a positive self-image.
Enhancing Self-Value: Enhancing your self-value involves recognizing your strengths and accomplishments. I help you focus on your positive attributes and build a stronger sense of self-worth.
The Role of Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT)
Emotion-focused therapy (EFT) is a valuable approach in building healthy boundaries. EFT focuses on understanding and processing your emotions, leading to healthier emotional responses and interactions. In my therapy sessions, I use EFT to help you:
Understand Your Emotions: Understanding your emotions involves recognizing and accepting your feelings without judgment. EFT helps you become more aware of your emotional experiences and how they impact your behavior.
Process Emotional Responses: Processing your emotional responses involves exploring the underlying causes of your feelings and developing healthier ways to express and manage your emotions.
Improve Emotional Interactions: Improving emotional interactions involves learning to communicate your feelings effectively and respond to others in a healthy, respectful manner.
Respectful Boundaries and Healthy Relationships
Respectful boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships. My therapy sessions provide guidance on setting and maintaining boundaries that promote mutual respect and understanding:
Creating Boundaries in a Relationship: Creating boundaries involves discussing your limits and expectations with your partner. This process ensures both partners feel respected and valued.
Maintaining Boundaries: Maintaining boundaries involves consistently upholding your limits and addressing any violations promptly. My sessions provide strategies for reinforcing your boundaries and ensuring they are respected.
Promoting Mutual Respect: Promoting mutual respect involves recognizing and valuing each other’s boundaries and needs. My therapy sessions emphasize the importance of respect in building healthy, balanced relationships.
Contact Laurel
If you identify with many of these symptoms, I am here to help. My therapy services can guide you toward healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self. Contact me today to schedule a consultation and begin your journey to recovery.